“Dealing With Not So Silent Frustration”
My Lenten Season journaling, 3/7/2014. I continue to grapple with life, or more precisely with expectations for my life. My medical practice is preparing to celebrate its 30th anniversary and I joined the group in 1992, 22 years ago. It really doesn’t seem possible that much time has passed. In many ways I feel as if I just got started.
Since biting the Mac Apple, I have really gotten into compiling photo and video memory albums and slide shows. As I gathered items to put something together for my medical colleagues and practice celebration it caused me to reflect yet again on my life … where I’ve been and more importantly, where I am going.
It alarms and distresses me that I have become increasingly harsh, bitter and even a bit resentful about certain aspects of my life that have not come to fruition … yet. I have also been more vocal in expressing my frustrations and disappointments, and while it is healthy to express oneself in a constructive manner, it is not productive nor conducive to forward movement to keep giving voice to negativity.
As I continue to struggle with myself and with God, I asked why is it I can’t seem to shake this funk, and as usual, God answered with precise clarity. It’s because you keep talking more to me about your problems and not as much to the problems about your God. Time to flip that script!
Those of us who have spent time in church settings have often heard that God inhabits the praises of His people. I recently also listened to a teaching on praise and worship creating an atmosphere for miracles. As I have thought and read on this, it has come increasingly clear and real to me is that this must start on the inside (attitude/mindset shift) and then be revealed or expressed and lived externally. Again, sometimes easier said than done, but it must be done none the less. The things worth having are worth the fight (struggle) to get them. The chosen generation did not waltz into their land of promise. They had to fight for it!
So this Lenten Season I will spend more time in prayer and meditation. If there is a need to vent or give voice to ‘not-so-silent’ frustrations, I will talk about them to God, but spend just as much if not more time talking to the problems about God! I will push to Pray Well, so that I can Live Well and Be Well!
I recently heard T. D. Jakes say, “When all hell is breaking loose, don’t get distracted with the facts, thank God for the truth.” If you need to debate facts, especially those that lead to not so silent frustration, counter them with the truth of God’s promises. It’s not always about what you see, but about what you know! Don’t pray in the realm of the problems, pray in the realm of the Provision.
“Father Almighty, You are so awesome and wonderful it’s sometimes hard to comprehend or put into words. Even as all hell is literally breaking loose around me, you rise as Jehovah Nissi, my banner who goes before me in the battle, fights for me and leads me in victory. Jehovah Jireh, my provider, who is able to produce exactly what is needed, when it’s needed. The Lord who sees and sees to it. Jehovah Rapha, my physician and healer, who makes bitter things taste sweet, heals my body and restores what has been lost.
As I seek to honor you with a tenth of my income (the tithe) and with offerings, you will open the floodgates of heaven with blessings and prevent (rebuke) the devourer from my family, relationships, profession, businesses and health. Although there are frustrations seen in some areas of my life, the truth of your word says that you will never leave or forsake me. You are El Shaddai, God Almighty! So I continue to trust and rely on the One who is able to do exceeding and abundantly more than I can ask, think or imagine, I give you thanks for its already done.
AMEN (and so it is)!”